When things fall apart
Life is fluid and constantly changing. When we accept this as an inevitable truth, releasing our grip on the idea of stasis, we not only find ourselves free of the worries about change, we realize that we are actually empowered by constant flux. "It is what it is".....general "acceptance". This is, of course, the end goal. The road to learning to cope with change is not an easy one. It requires a "shift in your thinking", taking a step back for a moment of silence, and learning to be flexible. Lets explore and travel that road together. I am here to help.
So to help you "in the meantime", some sound positive, practical self-talk teaching tools that have been found helpful when things fall apart.
When things are seemingly crumbling around you, instead of trying to control your fears and suppressing anger and frustration, acknowledge them, and then set them free. Visualization is a scientifically-proven method for working through intense emotional feelings. Create a peaceful scence like being on the beach, watching a sunset, or being on a mountain with the view of snow covered tree canopes in the distance. Try to imagine as much vivid detail as possible. Take a moment to let all five of your senses come alive.
Try setting aside at least five minutes of time when you know you can relax in a quiet and comfortable space to practice your peaceful scence, or visualizations. Close your eyes, relax your breathing, and begin to picture your own personal oasis or scene. Place yourself in this oasis. Develop your surroundings using all five senses. If you are on a beach, focus on how the sand feels under your feet. Is it warm, wet, and soft? Fine, smooth or a graining texture? Can you hear the waves lapping up against the shore, feel the gentile breze off of the tide, or feel the cool wind? Can you smell the salt water or the fresh air after a rainstorm? The more you practice your visualization, the easier it will be to summon it when you need it most.
When feeling "stuck" , feeling immobilized or out of balance
Just breathe. In moments of stress or when we need to get back in balance or our safe and happy place, it is important to focus on our breathing. Is it slow, calm, and deep or fast and agitated? Taking a moment to slow your breathing down can clear your mind and decrease your stress reaction. Sit in a comfortable position with your feet flat on the ground (or lay down). Close your eyes. Take one slow, deep breath in through your nose. Hold it briefly. Exhale your breath slowly out from your mouth. Repeat this process several times, focusing only on your slow, steady breaths. On your exhales, visualize your muscles relaxing and the tension leaving your body. All is well.
While the temptation to retreat to our comfort zones in the face of great change is tempting, try your very best to resist. Of course, you should be moving at a pace that is comfortable for you, but do make sure that you are in fact moving. Try taking a few minutes each day to go outside, even if it’s just a walk around the block. Vigorously exercise for fifteeen minutes or an hour. Another good idea is to sit in your favorite chair in your favorite room with your favoirte beverage and just "BE".
Practice self-compassion
Self-compassion is all about being kind to yourself. "Self-care" or "self-nurture". Be honest with yourself and with where your head and heart are at. If you are deeply upset about a recent change, Be upset. Accept where you are and just BE.
Namaste
